Friday, May 15, 2009

Loss of the twins and Cecelia's Pregnancy


Ok someone asked me about my pregancies so so i thought i would write blog about the "twins" then my preg with Cecelia (cece) so that I can have a record of my thoughts and feeling and what be it. Maybe later ill write about my preg with Michael- aside from the birth it was somewhat uneventful-praise the lord. Maybe I can inspire someone out there to know that Doctors are not always right..

Ok so on about dec 16th I found out i was pregnant, we were so excited because we had been trying for many years. On dec 28th i started bleeding, I had already had one miscarriage before my son was born so i figured it was prob happening agian and was devistated. the doctors confirmed it and on dec 31 the doc confirmed it when i went to ER because bleeding was out of controll...I sat in the ER untill almost midnight ( NEW YEARS EVE) when I was finaly called back...the the Doc said yup your dialated your having a misscarriage. Well have to do a i was moved into another room when much to my surprise a Female doc who was 7 tmonth( i asked) preg was goingt o do my DNC- WTF? notonly that but in themiddle of the DNC the Operator yelled over the intercom " HAPPY NEW YEAR" I was devistated but finally allowed to go home..the doctors monitored my blood work for another two weeks and the i got a call...." stephanie, how are you feeling"? umm " houw am i suppose to fee?" " well honey your still pregnant the blood work is rising and we think you ALSO have a tubal" shocked beyond belief i made my way back to the hospital where they confirmed there was a second Preg in my tubes...and it was nearly bursting atthis point (10-12 weeks preg) the doc said I had a rare cause of twins where one developes in the tubes and one in the uterous..the tubal prob caused the poisions that caused me to loose the one that made it to uterous and then i had to have the second one disolved....eww sounds horrible...dissolve mybaby what are you talking about....he responded thatit wasnt really a baby that it had stopped growing and was a growth of tissue at thispoint i made him look for a heartbeat and there was not one...sadley it did not even nlook like a baby, the doc gave me the shot and sent me home to grieve. I see it as if i have my two babies waiting in heaven..they didnt make it here on earth but will see me in heavean.

November : 1 year later I found out i was pregnant with my daughter, to the day one year later on dec 31st I started to bleed agian, rushed in to ER and they said we cant find a heart beat and what they said next horrified me...the said and i kid you not " go home and expell your preganacy" I scoffed and said WHAT...what do you mean..they said there wasnothing they could do and that i should just go home till thepreg was "expelled" when i asked them what was i suppose to do with itthen..they wont resemble anything its just tissues most people at your stage dont even know there preg and flush it down the toilette...I reitterated that i was nearly 10 weeks and they refused to help....My husband sat in the chair looking at me and said " if this baby makes it you can name it whatever you want" i said " her name is cecelia" he was shocked and said " whatif its a boy..?" i said
" her name is cecelia" he chuckled butwas devistated......I went home and waited for the worse...but the blleding stopped..two weeks later i went in to see my doctor and he found my precious baby girls heart beat..he said she was small but there and to rest....My ENTIRE preg i bleed..turns outi had a brusie on my placenta that collected blood then spilled out when full...My baby girl swallowed alot of the blood and had many issues while in utero..but was finally born healthy and happy on July 30th 2002 via c-section. Im so blessed to have both my daughter and my son, and we may have our difficult times but at least I have them here and canhold them and tell them i love them and experiance allthe things EVERY parent should be able to experiance ...Good and Bad...I just wish and pray that other mommys and daddies that have lost lil ones can have conforted hearts and that they will know the love of our Lord Jesus Christ and that they too will experiance the good the bad, the ugly and the beautiful of being parents.

No comments: